сряда, 15 април 2009 г.

Anatomicals - моята нова голяма козметична любов

Anatomicals е сравнително нова марка в козметичната индустрия, но брандингът и е потресаващо гениален. Ако видя човека, измислил цялата тази главозамайващо забавна простотия да стои в бял костюм пред кална локва, лично ще си съблека новата туника John Rocha и ще я постеля пред него/нея да мине. Е, може би чак туниката не бих я прежалила, а и не вярвам да попадна точно в такава ситуация, но един виртуален поклон и едно 100% искрено "евала" заслужава.
А и продуктите, между другото, са адски добри, говоря от опит. И тъй, ето малко примери за какво иде реч - това са описанията на сайта, по-надолу са и самите опаковки, които са с различен текст (да живее отричането на простото copy-paste!):


after fighting tired looking peepers in…wherever eye bag slayers go to vanquish the nightmare of baggy eyes (California’s always popular),‘Puffy’, the finest of all the eye bag slayers is now back with a capital B on British soil and onto the anatomicals web site. (truth is, we were looking for a more efficient production source, but that doesn’t sound quite so adventurous). when you haven’t had enough sleep, you can now open the fridge to find more than a carton of eggs, a green pepper and something that looks like it might once have been cheese, left to chill for 30 minutes, this gel mask will leave your eyes cool, refreshed and, yes, less puffy. definitely more vamp than vampire.


frankly we don't care if you commit every sin in the bible. actually in our book ( and we're not talking the good book here) that would make you an infinitely more interesting person and far more deserving of being an anatomicals customer. but before you fornicate with your best friend's husband/ wife/ girlfriend/ boyfriend/ mother or father, use this body scrub. no one wants dry, flaky skin rubbing up against them.



when you use the tubes of intensive hair and face treatment in this 2pac, the last thing you'll think is crap. however, you may think rap. named after the most famous rapper (Tupac Amaru Shakur to give him his full title) of recent times, we can only hope that we go on to sell as many of these kits as the original 2pac sold albums. 75 million to be precise. that should easily give us enough to pimp the anatomicals set of wheels and give us considerably more than 50 cents left over for a few bullet proof vests as well. we do not intend to meet the same untimely end as Mr. Shakur at a drive by shooting. although ours would be orchestrated by some disgruntled head of a hugely well known beauty conglomerate annoyed by our superior products.


In Religious Education at school, we all learnt that it was the meek who would inherit the earth. well, fat lot those and any teachers knew. it’s really the vain and self -obsessed about their hair who will inherit the earth. obviously, no RE teacher was, and is, ever going to know that. we mean have you seen their hair? bird’s nest would be a compliment. so the upshot is, use this conditioner and the whole planet is yours.


if you've ever been standing by the luggage carousel when a charter flight's just come in, you 'll have seen plenty of unattractive bags. but none more unsightly than those caused by too many late nights spent partying. because there's only so long you can hide behind dark glasses for, we've introduced ' no old bags allowed'. this refreshing gel with arnica and orange flower water will soon help diminish those trunks under your eyes. once again leaving you with an appearance that belies the date on your birth certificate.







това е сайта: http://www.anatomicals.net/ - в самия сайт има безсрамни простотии, другата секция е магазина с описанията. enjoy!

Няма коментари: